“Hullo, reddit! My name is Sir Kenneth Winston Haveshire. I am a 27 year old American Anglophile (Fan of all things Brit for you yanks). I drink tea and eat crumpets, and spend my days perfecting my knowledge of British history and viewing superior British BBC and Channel 4 productions. (Doctor Who, Sherlock, Broadchurch)
I train at playing cricket every day, the superior cricket bat can hit with pure accuracy because it is so finely made, and cricket is vastly superior to any other sport on earth. I earned my A-levels in British Literature and History two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak British English fluently, both cockney and the Liverpool accent, and I write fluently using British spelling and punctuation (such as ‘colour’) as well. I know everything about British history and their Arthurian code of chivalry. When I get my British visa, I am moving to Oxbridge to attend a prestigious university to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an Oxford Don or a BBC thespian! I own several Union Jack shirts, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Britain, so I can fit in easier. I speak British English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in Her Majesty’s Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland!”