Wassup f**gots? Lemme tell you about some crazy shit that happened to me a few days ago. Hold on to your dicks. So yeah, I was walking down the street when I saw someone that just killed his family and ate 1000 cheeseburgers who just sat on a cactus and was like ‘OH FUCK IT’S GOING UP MY WATSEEHOOLIEDAR’. I tried to help him chopping the cactus off but I accidentally chopped off his willy, which fell on a cheeseburger. A dog decided to eat it and it puked it up, but the willy was intact so it decided to eat it again. Then I cut a hole on the cactus and put my doohickydee in it for no reason, and it felt quite sensational to say the least. Then, I fell down the sewer and met Gandhi, who was having gay sex with Hitler and the corpse of the other guy. I decided to steal their weed and go back to my apartment…
BUT NO! I saw batman molesting an ostrich whilst it was giving birth there! I was so angry I smacked them with a dildo off the building. The wall repair costed 700 dollars, and a gangster stole all my dildos while I was waiting for the repairmen. I never fucked a cactus since then.