You are swine. Vulgar little maggot. Don’t you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in New York, I’ll bet you couldn’t scrape excrement from a boot with instructions set on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. A zit on the butt of society. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have halitosis. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I am debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic feeble pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You are simply a threat, a violent menace, a hood-lurker of establishments that have been cursed with your presence. I hope that any place you traverse would be liberated, sanitized and disenthralled from a bumbling, toxic, abhorrent, dastardly, phosphoric, invertebrate scoundrel and impostor such as yourself.

You are the product of two Y chromosomes, an impossible paradox. You are a bacteriophage originating from disreputable sources. A nimrod and inept you truly are, a blunder, spawn of evil. I wish that a researcher would study your quantum sized brain, but your oppressive miasma causes suffocation making it impossible to be in your vicinity. You are revolting and irredeemable dipstick, the product of coagulated blood, and you give others temporary dysphagia on sight. You are the equivalent of a dilated and punished sphincter, and your odour is unpleasant.

You are a stinking and olid pillar of tissue, lacking a cortex. Your mannerisms resemble that of a boar chasing a cow out of despondency, wanting to mate. You are the sole cause of anxiety and sleep paralysis in mammals. You are a frog in the bottom of the well, being unaware of your constant degradation. You are not only unsophisticated, inert, absurd, questionable, crabby, irrational, lunatic, tart, bitter and fruitless, but also extremely malapurt, brusque and smelly. You are a brute, a simp, a balloon, overzealous, and nauseating to look at. You negate my faith in society, and you bathe in a cesspool which means you are unclean. I recommend you to take a shower.

You’re a putrescence mass, a walking vomit, a villain greater than any other. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a cur, a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn’t crawl out of a normal egg, either, but rather a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal of many waterfowl accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity, because Hades has abandoned you. I barf at the very notion of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut and a morbidly obese carpenter-ant withal. Lepers avoid you. Because of your face the caribou population has actually decreased. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren’t an idiot, you make a world-class effort at simulating one.

You are thick-headed trog. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that, you top-post. God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn’t make you. You are Satan’s spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good.

You snail-skulled little hare. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t be herded by somebody such as yourself, with your infantile, atomic, and deformed brain so tiny as to say a sphere with the diameter of one Planck length would have outclassed it by a thousandfold. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You befouled, vitiated poltroon. You blighted, malodorous, mephitic recreant. You are a festering boil on the ass of all humanity. You have all the backbone of a jellyfish. You moribific, feculent simpleton. Would that I could change my species, just so that I might not be associated with you. The stupendous, confounding magnitude of your insipidness astonishes me.

I cannot believe that anyone could muster such a prodigious, astounding level of stupidity. If you were any more asinine or incogitant, you would surely have been put to death long ago. Your vapidity has gone so far beyond any previous boundaries of puerility and nugacity as to banish any and all chances of an intelligent thought from your head. Even the most hardened of regulars unquestionably cannot believe your fatuousness and illogicality.

Your opinions do nothing but lend credence to the overwhelming fact that you are such a driveling simpleton that you cannot find your ass with both hands and a road map. You are the very pinnacle of insensateness. You are the model of banality and subnormality. You perspire too much. I am aghast at your apparent ability to insert your head into your own rectum.

There cannot be even a fragment of intellectuality or perspicacity to be found within the gaping void which should contain your brain. It amazes me that you are able to perform even the most facile of everyday functions with your exorbitantly disadvantaged and gormless lack of intellect.

Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. You fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth something more than the negative magnitude of electricity used to send them. Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn’t look promising either. We will trace your bloodline and terminate all kindred in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. No normal human would ever mate with you, so nobody must go into sewers in search of your git.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm, no style, such that an unethical chimpanzee, or a simpleton vagrant beggar with a disconjugate gaze would not hesitate to scoff at you. You are ridiculous and obnoxious and the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are severe pestilence, an infestation, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry nincompoop cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank, filthy and old. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic cur. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. Death cannot rid me of knowing that I have interacted with you. Existence is now unbearable knowing that our species is capable of creating such a grotesque horror.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Neutron star stupid. Black hole stupid. Your writing has to be a troll, albeit trivial and transparent then. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic are your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, it didn’t really mean anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I reckon stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective, you nappy-headed freak. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been “right” as to say by society’s standards. Like parking in a handicap space (meant for you, of course). I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, incompetent, sterile, devising, plotting, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, incapacitated, cruel, forbidden, contemptible, unsubmissive, criminal, stained, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, refutable, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, otherworldly, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, constipated, bilious, plagued, abandoned, naughty, splenetic, abrasive, spastic, barraging, ignorant, clueless, estranged, illegitimate, domitable, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, occult, unethical, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, pinguid, clueless, and generally Not Good.