The Beatles released so many critically acclaimed albums that the debate for which one is #1, will be endless. But at the end of the day, all we’re left with is opinions. And there’s billions of those. So I’ll present my version, in fact: My take, on the whole Beatlemania. PS: I’m not good with words or anything else really, so the result of this, will most definitely be utter crap..


Back in the 50’s four guys decided to make a band. They started playing something called rock’n’roll, and thought they were pretty great. After some garage sessions etc. three of the members decided that the drummer was utter crap, and kicked him out. The oldest of the three remaining, John, decided to take a stroll down the street after an endless amount of hours, as they were holding tryouts for the drummers position in their awesome band. After a mile or so, John stumbled upon a hobo’s nest. John felt the stench of feces and urine, but as the freak he was, he decided to stick his head inside. The sight that met him horrified, yet aroused him. Inside, in a pool of sweat and urine, laid a naked boy touching himself. As the good Samaritan John was, he asked if the boy wouldn’t mind joining him and his friends for tea. The boy accepted the invitation.


Back at the garage, John’s bandmates were getting anxious. But as they were heading out looking for him, John return with the young boy, carrying him in his arms, and caressing the weakened child. After a couple of cups of tea, John asked if he wanted to play the drums in their band. The two other members, Paul and George, was surprised by this, but went along after John persuaded them with his charms and an endless amount of praise for the young boy. The young lad soon got a hang of it, and they decided to try their luck at some of the local taverns. After a lot of refusal, they finally got a gig at the local tavern. The setlist was six different versions of “Rock around the clock”, since it was the only song they felt safe playing at the time. People loved them, and it didn’t take long before everybody knew their name: The Silver Beetles and The Short Jew. And it didn’t take long before talent scouts started to take notice of them. Finally they signed with the one that offered Paul the most money. And the recording of their first album began..


Upon the release the record producer came to have a talk with the guys. He asked them to change their name from: The Silver Beetles and The Short Jew, to something more accessible, and less offensive. The boys thought long and hard about this, before John had an epiphany. According to an urban legend, their band name came from a dream John had, about a man and a pie and some LSD. But Ringo has later revealed that the story was just something John made up, and that they had just read it off a road sign in Austria, where they had vacationed the year before. The name of the village where they had seen this sign, was Beatlesfritzlschweinstadt, which made much more sense to the media. Even so, they changed their name to The Beatles just before releasing their first album.


Then they released Please Please Me to gain the last grain of success before finally getting Ringo laid. With The Beatles was released to make some extra money to finance a project Paul had going on, since he thought the fab 4 days would be soon to end. A Hard Day’s Night was made after a legendarily bad acid trip John had, where he stayed disoriented and without being able to speak a single word for over a week.    
Beatles for Sale was released as a joke, after an attempt from Ringo to actually sell the band, something the other band members handled with mixed emotions. Help! was released after 75% of the band had gotten serious drug addictions to various drugs.(George stayed cleaned through this whole incident). Rubber Soul an album which kind for reinvented their whole sound, was released after the entire band(now including George), went on trips to India where they tried drugs none of them could even remember taking. As a result of this, the band forgot how to play their instruments, and had to relearn everything, and therefore sounded different.


Revolver was released in Paul’s art period, where the album was only recorded so Paul could draw the album cover.(the album was written and recorded in 2 hours)\[Paul’s art period lasted for 3 hours\]. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was recorded by Ringo as a solo project, something he revealed in late 2006. Magical Mystery Tour and The White Album was released as cover-ups for Ringo’s failed attempt at releasing his album “Ringo sings the Stones”, which the press unfortunately learned, after Ringo told them. The Yellow Submarine was released: no pun necessary. Abbey Road was released cause they had some unrecorded Harrison songs lying around, Paul and John filled in the rest, Ringo was also allowed to contribute with one song, none of the other band members could understand it, so it was included “for the sake of being weird”. John found something in the back of a truck one day, he married it, and it led to the band’s break-up. Phil Spector ran his final gag on the band, by releasing Let it Be in 1970.


Aftermath:
Paul Mccartney formed his own band, called The Not-so-talented Beatles.
John Lennon released some albums, and took some naked pictures of himself and his husband.
George Harrison releases some albums, and joined some other old geezers in an attempt to relight their fire.
Ringo Starr did absolutely nothing.