It started innocent enough. I masturbate regularly and gave up on kicking my cat off my bed. He’s super lazy and wasn’t bothering anything. And then a few weeks ago while I close to orgasm and I felt his rough tongue on my thigh and it sent me over the edge. I stayed with my legs open and he started to lick my pussy. It felt so wrong and so good. I let him continue adjusting myself so he was licking my clit. I came again. I was a little high and tried to shrug it off. A couple night’s later I was petting him and let my fingers wander to his genitals. I wondered if I could give him an erection… I did. I took him to the bed and spread my legs and let him lick me again. I started fantasizing about letting a big dog lick my pussy. I masturbated to the thought for a week, found some related porn on the internet. I got really high one night and placed an ad on craigslist asking for a man who wanted to let me have sex with his dog. I had a surprising amount of replies. I picked a big newfoundland. The man said the dog really liked it. I laid on his bed and let the dog lick me over and over. It was the best orgasms I had ever had. He (the man) watched and masturbated. He told me to get his dog hard. I touched him and licked him and got him (the dog) hard. I had never seen a fully erect dog penis. I was so turned on! I wanted it in me but was scared. He licked me to one more orgasm and I let the man cum on my face and let the dog lick it off. We met up again. The same scenario. I really, really want to know what it’s like to be fucked by that dog. I have read I can get torn by the knot and also worry that crossing that boundary will make me somehow more messed up than I already am. I masturbate almost exclusively to fantasies about animals now. I want to try it with another dog (the newfoundland’s owner kind of gives me the creeps). As I type this my cat is by my side and I feel a wave of guilt. I took advantage of him. I think I should stop. Or maybe get some help? I have never had sexual intercourse with a man before (human man) and worry that I have messed up my whole life.