Own a shot put for home defense, since that’s what the olympics intended. Mathilda and Miss Honey break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my javelins and hammer ball. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first gargoyle, he’s broken on the spot. Draw my hammer on the dratted brat, miss her entirely because Mrs Honey’s ass cheeks keep clapping and distracting me and I nail the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the 3 or so crates at the top of the stairs loaded with shot put balls, “Wahhh” the shot put nearly runs me over as it rolls down the stairs, the sound setting off car alarms. Fix javelin head and charge the terrified rapscallion. She escapes out the wine cellar. Just as Magnus intended.