*Quoted from Richard on Richard and Mortimer, a significant member in society whom was most fortunate enough to be Little Pump’s roommate at Harvard University*: “I’ve figured it all out Mortimer! With help from advanced quantum physics, I can now mathematically prove that kissing girls or engaging in sexual intercourse with women is in fact completely homosexual. You see, when you kiss a girl you are also kissing all the men she kissed. When you are engaging in sexual intercourse with women, you are also touching testicular organs with another man. It’s all clear to me now Mortimer! The solution to this is for us to all **kill ourselves**.”