The year is 2090. In 2076, 90% of women on Earth had their sex organs replaced with the new robotic Neovagina, which provided greater pleasure for those who had one, and a shorter recovery time for those undergoing SRS. However, a cyberterrorist group was able to hack the Neovagina, causing them to mangle their partners when penetrated. The outbreak of mangled or severed penises caused birth rates to plummet, and humanity stands on the brink of extinction.

This summer, one hero will put the fate of humanity on the line to research, develop, and mass-produce humanity’s salvation — the Neopenis.

Starring:

John Boyega as Doctor Våjorsten, the scientist behind the Neopenis.

Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Neopenis.

Keanu Reeves as Bill, a remorseful hacker and one of the people behind the Neovagina hack

And Emma Watson as the obligatory love interest.

The Neovagina Disaster. Coming this summer to a theater near you. Rated G for “God, why did they make this?”