Hey everybody! Now we here at Applebees Neighborhood Bar and Grill believe that our restaurant should be a place for any American to enjoy casual dining and classic drinks.

However, when someone walks into the restaurant with a 2 gallon tub of cow semen and pours it all over the floor, that’s where we cross the line.

We here believe that everyone should have a second chance at the finest dining experience in America, so if you come forward, we’ll let you off the hook.

But if you don’t, we will hunt you down. We will find you. And then we will force all the dirty semen we had to clean up right into your mouth.

Thanks!

\- Applebee’s